Keith marched across the deck with his plastic flavor ice frozen popsicle bag clamped into his mouth, and a this-is-my-second-one-to-boot energetic voice, "Mom! If I am going to grow to be a big, BIG boy, I'm going to have to eat a LOT of these!" Was it his facial expression, his spunky mood, or his sugar induced optimism that made me laugh out loud for real?
His optimism cracked me up…he really thought I might consider his line of thinking with some sobriety, and THAT was just funny. Popsicles on the porch time came to an end and "the littles" were sent to bed, while I sat for a little down time with Jessie, who had a few pretty heavy things on her mind. Having indulged in a few popsicles myself, I was actually wakeful enough to wisely hang around and stay available, a skill I am trying to work harder on as mom of 6. So, while we smacked down mosquitos who love mommymeat, and cheered on a bat that periodically would circle down from the house roof, we talked about some troubling relational things cropping up with her siblings.
I had to sit on my Mrs. Fix-It impulse, and try to listen, not solving much at first, but try to get her to think of skills or tools she needs to deal with the "stuff" of sibling life…all in all some stories were swapped and I hope she went away with some new thoughts and, please, God~ a secure feeling that her mom and dad are here for her and really want to help. I am thankful to the Holy Spirit who helped me talk less and wait more, reminding me that, no, the dishes, the floor and the bedtime routines can wait just this one time…
Tonight, I read what I will call my Pretty Cool Quote of the Day. It is from Sally Clarkson's book "The Ministry of Motherhood" as she discusses the Gift of Training. She says,
" I have often prayed that my children become mature believers but my mother-heart never wanted them to have pain. As I was praying about this, I realized that in order for someone to become a general, he has to make it through many battles…We (parents) are the officers who help them prepare for the battles they will face in their lives."
Am I shaken and underconfident so often during my day to day because of the enormity of this task? Is it the charge to prepare my kids for that which is unknown to me, that cows me in disciplines of my daily living that would help me accomplish the seemingly impossible? I echo the apostle Paul when I say, "Who will deliver me from this body of death (or failure, or underpreparedness, or frailty)~ Thanks be to God! Who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!
Popsicles may not quite do it, but the mother-heart given to Him, even one housed in an imperfect servant like me, may make a dent in this world yet
living simply at home with kids, enjoying new thoughts, placing the heart at the fore
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